Starting the teacher training isn't the only new thing I'm doing. I'm also trying to use this blog a little more informally than I have in the past. Up until now I've mostly used L&L as a place to put rather polished autobiographical essays and as a home for my online writerly identity. I suppose it still will work in those ways, but I'm also working a little with the practice of letting my writing go, of putting stuff down and then sending it out where people can see it, because the truth of the matter is (or at least I believe it to be true) that I've been holding onto too much stuff for too long. I've been too afraid to put things out in the world and it feels like they've been getting stuck in me and rotting, which has led to a defeatist attitude and a sense of being isolated.
I realize that in trying to work in this other way, I may put out a lot of mediocre or even bad writing, so if you've been thinking about unsubscribing but haven't due to the infrequency of the posts now would be a good time (and the truth is I'll never know if you do, unless of course you're a friend of mine and I come up to you with that longing look in my eyes, waiting for you to tell me you liked my last post).
Anyway, I'll do my best to consider you, reader, as I write these posts, but you can probably expect a little less polish and some more speculation. Perhaps a few more tpyos and some half-baked or even raw ideas about writing, parenting, spiritual practice, etc. Given how ridiculously self conscious I am, however, I wouldn't expect it to go that far. So it's more likely there will be a surfeit of musings about my process, which at times will probably sound pretty self involved and whiny. But maybe (maybe!) some of this will touch that part of you that's confused and overwhelmed and doesn't really know what the hell is going on despite whatever outward face you're trying to sell to the world around you. That's my hope anyway. And at any rate, you've been warned.
And here is a cute photo because people like those: